Overland Tour Begins!

We got up at 6AM Wednesday morning (It's been years since I've seen 6AM), to meet our group for our overland tour. We took a taxi to our meeting point even though it was literally around the corner from where we were. This has happened a few times this trip; cabbies will be happy to drive you any place even if its just down the street.

We were scheduled to leave at 8AM, however it was around 10AM when we hit the road. I think this is a sign of things to come. You wait for a person to buy water, another to pee, and another to run from bank machine to bank machine trying to take Kwacha out with a credit card. However, hold ups are seen as inevitable and generally humorous; you are in for a long trip if you get impatient or annoyed.

Vehicle:

apparently overland trucks have names. In this case, someone deemed that "Roy" would be appropriate, I have no clue why. We learned upon arrival that Roy is not to be referred to as a "bus". If such talk occurs, you will be subject to random punishments by tour guides. Brad and I have compensated by using terms such as "buck or trus" to refer to our vehicle. Roy is similar to what you would see in a battlefield; it looks like a heavy duty army truck. It's appearance is irrelevant to us, but the unfortunate part is that it also rides like a truck in battle. No shocks on the back wheels means that hitting a two foot pot hole at 130km/hour can interrupt the flow of your nap to say the least. Roy also has narrow seats. If Brad and I are sitting side by side, the person with the aisle seat has to put one ass cheek on the seat, and the other in the middle of the aisle. However, this is not the worst case scenario. Being the last person on the bus means getting the middle seat in the back- a place where NOBODY wants to be. You are squished between 2 viking-like Norwegians and 2 chatty Americans. This person has no leg room (Brad's or mine left ass cheek is often in the way), and you can't see out the windows. The cool part about Roy is that he is efficient. Meals can be pulled out, made, and put away in one hour's time, it can handle any terrain (we think), and drives seemingly long distances without needing gas.

Guides:

1) Paul- Our enthusiastic driver who seems more interested in delivering wet willies, titty twisters, and ass grabs than offering insight in to our tour. Nevertheless, he is well liked.

2) Jabu- our tour guide. He gives us useful information every now and again. He is also the cook, and is quite good at both his jobs.

3) Oliver- we are still trying to pin point exactly what Oliver does. Some say he is the translator for non-english speaking travellers. however, everyone on our bus speaks English better than he does. Oliver mostly just smokes, sleeps, and climbs stuff.

A note on Zambian roads: poor.

Our first day's journey was long.

Highlites:

1) There were none.

Lowlites:

1) The museum we stopped at while Jabu made us lunch. The dollar spent to get in could have been used to buy a Mosi (Zambian beer).

2) Having our group decide NOT to stop and have a beer while watching the sunset on the roof of Roy. %&€¥!!!

3) Allison's squeaky seat that kept me awake for several hours.

After driving deep (and I mean deep) in to the bush on the worst road imaginable to man, we found our camp site. By this time the built up pressure on my bladder was unbearable, as was the weak, hollow feeling of my empty stomach. Upon arrival we were promptly given a very uninformative lesson on the intricate workings of tent poles.

Shortly after, dinner was served. Jabu made a huge pot of spaghetti which I washed down with well deserved beers. Bed time was at 10, due to the 6AM wake up call.

We are loving it.
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