I just slept 11 hours. I needed it. You see, there are a few rules you should observe when traveling. Some are obvious: be prepared, keep your valuables safe, don't walk down back alleys, etc. Others are less obvious: don't order the cocktail with two chili peppers as garnish, white people shouldn't sit on the top of a boat for four hours in the sun, keep your clothes on in Muslim communities, and whatever you do, do not make friends with other travelers.
Allow my to expand on the last example. You may think making friends is something that you should strive to do; it promotes global community, it represents Canada well, it feels nice. However, making friends leads to jovial evening gatherings. Although these gatherings sound pleasant, I find them to be hard on my hydration level and my bank account. I also find that they make mornings a bit difficult.
Yesterday morning, although it seemed to be off to a decent start, proved to be somewhat difficult. After breaking my own rule the night before, I hopped on a small boat and took a ride on the waves of the Indian Ocean. I am not prone to seasickness, however on this occasion, my disobedience from the night before paired with the boat ride became too much to handle. Upon arriving at our destination, I successfully knocked an item off of my bucket list. I jumped off the side of the boat, was completely submerged, and fed my Spanish omelet to the African fish.
Now folks, please learn a lesson here. This was a multicultural experience that you should only learn by living vicariously through me. Do not make friends.
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